The Real Reason No One Talks About Day One:

Because it IS THE WORST THING ON EARTH.

So, yeah.

I’m finally home and honestly, I took a sleeping pill and am going to bed. I don’t even care that it’s 7:15.

I wish today never happened.

I have no idea how I am supposed to actually will myself to go and survive tomorrow.

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9 thoughts on “The Real Reason No One Talks About Day One:

  1. I know the feeling I cant sleep either, you will get through this each day at a time dont let your ED take your life away, not when it takes everything. you will yourself by the need to survive, carry on and beat this thing

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  2. I FEEL THIS SO MUCH RIGHT NOW! just had my first day of php today and It was horrifying and I am so scared to go back tomorrow. If you need to rant of talk or touch base with someone who sin the same exact situation please please let me know!

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    • omg yes! I went back, I’ve now been for a week, it is getting easier? but idk how strong I am and I am doubting everything right now. I know its for the best but why can’t I get all of me on the same page?!?!
      And I have no idea how to chat/private message but if we can absolutely!!! I also have Tumblr if that’s easier 🙂

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      • haha I don’t have a tumblr but I would love to talk with you! I think that for me I have just found other ways to engage in behaviors outside of the treatment which is the only reason that things are getting a bit easier. I hate to admit that but yeah… I am feeling the same way, part of me has this life in my head that I want to live and that I need to recover to get but then another part of me is like hum no. I really do like the people at the program for the most part though and am finding that that makes it so much more bearable. If you want to talk I have an Instagram @hannahmudge. Its my personal account but yeah feel free

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      • Just requested you! I’m @runningtowardrecovery 😊 we can do this!!! Hope today’s a good PHP day for you. They are increasing my calories today so I am crazy nervous!! But I talked to one of my fave Drs today and he really encouraged me and made me feel better, at least temporarily 😉😆

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