Hospitalized

 I got terrified and texted my therapist from IOP. She demanded to talk to my mom and let her know what I had done as soon as I told her. 

Now I’m baker acted and waiting for the psychiatrist to come see me. Last night I spent the night in the psych ward with my room under video surveillance. Classy. 

I can’t believe I did this. I regret it whole heartedly. I shouldn’t have done it. My whole self regrets it more than anything I’ve ever done before. 

The even *more awesome* news is  that I will have to discharge from IOP if I’m still here tomorrow and on top of that If I have to go back to ED residential I’ll lose the job that’s paying for my insurance that’s covering this red hot mess of a life I’ve got. 

Lesson: maybe suicide just makes everything worse.

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2 thoughts on “Hospitalized

  1. xx glad you’re ok, be gentle with yourself, you were obviously in a difficult place when you took the steps that lead to you being in this situation. I hope you will be able to find some support for yourself x keep reaching out x Em

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thanks em my therapist and dietitian have been great and I’m definitely no longer in a place where I want to harm myself. They’re giving me an antidote for my liver to stop the enzymes from increasing more. Hoping to get out of here tomorrow

      Liked by 1 person

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