All Hope is Gone.

That was the WORST. I never want to go into recovery. This sucks. The guy was super nice, got my trust, I told him the same stuff I told the doctor, then…

He asked more about the side effects. I mention I have passed out 6 times in the last 2 1/2- 3 weeks and collapsed about 5 times on top of that and he then says (with a very unhopeful disposition) that they may not be equipped to handle that and he’ll have to run it by the doctors and basically long story short: NO ONE IS WILLING TO HELP.

Remember that ounce of hope I had. GONE. I’m done. Defeated. I don’t care anymore. I promised I would tell the truth and I did and see where that got me? No where. 

He said he would call me back in a day or so after hearing from the team but I am not expecting it to be a good call. I hate this. I hate me. I hate my life. I hate that he made me gain some trust to tell him everything and then yanked that carpet right out from underneath me just like the doctors did last time with my stomach. Lesson learned.